


Abnormal

by BeeAnka



Series: Sing Me A Song Of Despair Side Stories: Family [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Not As Light-Hearted As I First Thought
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 20:29:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17352080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeeAnka/pseuds/BeeAnka
Summary: A fun little trip into a nearby forest turns sour when Junko and Mukuro have an argument.





	Abnormal

**Author's Note:**

> And it's the second side story series thingy, this time focused on family relationships. It was mostly just an excuse to write more Despair Sisters backstory, but I want to give Sayaka some attention sooner or later too. There's some stuff I want to put here that would just clog up the main story.
> 
> Kind of a weird decision to start yet another thing, but it helps me to write this kind of stuff whenever I'm stuck with the main story.
> 
> Anyway, I was gonna post this a week ago, but then I deleted nearly all of it because I just wasn't happy with some parts. Honestly, I'm surprised I don't do that more often. I'm weird. I hope you'll enjoy it! (by the way, the Dysfunctional Family tag I've only just now noticed is perfect for Despair Sister stories. everyone should use it from now on)
> 
> This story takes place between the final flashbacks in 'Lullaby'/'Aria' and the first flashback in 'Melody'. (meaning after Mukuro and Junko killed for the first time and before they went to the orphanage)

* * *

 

_"If the city bores you, maybe we should go to a forest or something?"_

Even though Mukuro most likely hadn't expected her to agree, Junko agreed to the suggestion anyway.

She's a city girl at heart. She likes sitting on a bench and watching people walk by, catching snippets of their conversations with other people and imagining her own stories about them. She likes watching cars drive by her too -- the glimpses of the people in there make her imagine all kinds of things about where they're heading and what they're going to do. Most of those stories end with something delightfully Despairing, like a murder, a suicide, or some other drama.

Lately though, she's been getting bored of that. There's only so much you can come up with from watching a couple of strangers. And since she isn't shy when it comes to loudly declaring her boredom, Mukuro must have been thinking about a way to cheer her up for a while now.

Not that walking around in the woods or whatever sounded any more exciting at first. When Mukuro suggested it, Junko's first instinct was to tell her off, but then she thought about the park. After all, she spends most of her time there. Mostly to watch other people or have Mukuro push her on the swing, but nature is interesting to watch too sometimes. Flowers, insects, the pond... there are some pretty cool things to look at. That's why it stands to reason that there are even more interesting things in a forest, doesn't it?

Besides, Mukuro _did_ steal the money needed for those bus tickets just to make her feel better. Yeah, they could have used the money on food instead, but she'd feel pretty guilty if she rejected the idea and saw the crushed look on her sister's face. It'd be pretty good Despair to crush her spirit like that... yet Mukuro is the one person she doesn't want to hurt, Despair nonwithstanding. She's promised it too.

"Hey, hey, Mukuro-chan!" Junko turns away from the bus window she's been looking out of and grins at her sister sitting on the opposite of her. "What do you think we're gonna see?! A bear?!" She hopes there's a bear. She loves bears!

Mukuro looks about as horrified as she can look -- which isn't that much -- at the suggestion. "No, Junko-chan! I've looked the forest up before we left to make sure there aren't any bears."

"What?!" Junko whines. "That's so boring, sis! I wanna see a bear! Monokuma would be happy to see one of his kind!" Granted, she hasn't bothered to talk to her imaginary friend in a long time now, but maybe mentioning him will help.

"Bears are dangerous, Junko-chan." Mukuro chastises in her stupid 'disapproving big sister' tone . "I would never go somewhere that dangerous with you." She frowns. "There might be some hornets though. If we disturb them, get on the ground and protect your head. Running is a bad idea. Don't worry, I'll shield you so they only sting me."

"Geez. When did you become an animal expert?"

"I just researched a little bit to make sure it's safe." Mukuro says. "There shouldn't be anything dangerous in this forest."

Junko pouts. Leave it to Mukuro to suck the excitement out of everything, to coddle her. "That's boooooring, Mukuro-chan! I'm already bored!"

"You like looking at trees and flowers too, don't you? And there are still a lot of other animals." Mukuro says defensively. "We might get to see tanuki or squirrels. Birds, too. Maybe boars. We should stay away from those though. They can be dangerous."

"Do you think I'm that clueless?!" Junko exclaims, annoyed. "Of course I wouldn't run up to a boar! Geez, sis."

"You wanted there to be a bear too." Mukuro points out.

"I wouldn't have run up to the bear! We're really good at hiding, so the bear wouldn't see us! Monokuma would protect us too!" Junko argues.

"You shouldn't risk something like that. What if it saw you anyway? Or what if it smelled you? Monokuma is too small. He can't protect you."

"You're being mean to Monokuma! Besides, being hunted by a bear would be pretty good Despair, wouldn't it?" Junko giggles at her rhyme, but Mukuro has her lips pressed in a thin line, which means the comment obviously bothered her. "What? It's just a joke!"

"You shouldn't joke about that kind of thing." Mukuro chastises. "You know I'm fine with the Despair thing, as long as you aren't getting in any danger."

Junko glowers at her. What's that supposed to mean? "What do you mean you're 'fine with it'? You're a Despair Sister! Even if you don't really get it, at least try to be more excited about Despair!"

Mukuro gives her a slightly guilty look, and mutters a quiet apology.

"Whatever!" Junko huffs, her mood souring a bit. She looks out of the bus window again with a scowl.

Stupid Mukuro. You'd think after stabbing someone to death, she'd be better at understanding Despair... yet she's still such an amateur. Junko knows her sister is just trying to look out for her, but her cluelessness is frustrating. Danger and Despair go hand in hand! That's so obvious.

Then again, there is no more Despair when she dies. Which would be a bother. Although maybe never getting to experience Despair again is the most Despairful thing of all? Geez, Despair is pretty complicated... but that's why she likes it! Unpredictable, complicated things aren't boring.

Junko pulls her knees up on her seat, resting her head on them as she looks out of the bus window. She wraps her worn down pink jacket around her knees, to make sure Mukuro knows to leave her alone. It's not like it's cold. Seeing as it's late August, it's warm outside. Mukuro just made them both wear jackets because there is a lot of wind. There are a few clouds too, but it's not going to rain or anything. Not yet.

While Junko stares mindlessly outside of the window, she feels herself getting drowsy.  A black car. A black car. A yellow car. A black car. A blue car. A pink car. A brown car. A blue car. A brown car. A black car. A purple car. A white car. It's like counting sheep...

Before she falls asleep though, a speed bump snaps her out of her drowsy state.

After that, watching the cars driving past the bus merely bores Junko instead of making her sleepy. Sighing, she turns to look at the other people riding the bus. Maybe there's someone who catches her eye, someone she can imagine in a Despairful story. Then again, there are mostly just old people sitting in silence.

There's a businessman in a suit she notices though. Junko wonders where he's heading towards. Maybe to his job, leaving his wife and two children at home, all of whom will be dead when he returns! She imagines the man arriving at home after a long and hard day at work, longing to spend his evening with his family, only to find them all lying in pools of blood, their eyes wide open in terror! The man's heart fills with Despair, falling to his knees, tears already adorning his eyes... his eyes that are... eyes... that are...

Directly looking at her.

Junko blinks, quickly looking away from the man and suppressing the urge to hide her head along with her knees in her jacket. Her ears are burning with embarrassment. She isn't supposed to get noticed by anyone. She glances at Mukuro, but her sister is merely looking out of the window, obviously having zoned out. She's glad Mukuro hasn't noticed anything -- the last thing she needs right now is her overprotective older sister being annoying.

Mukuro always says it's important adults don't notice them. They might think it's weird that two girls as young as them are all alone and try to talk to them, maybe call the police when they don't give good answers to their questions. Or they might... _hurt_ them in some way.

Junko's heart thumps loudly at the thought. There is Despair, but only the kind that she's still too weak to stomach. She hates that feeling. She hates feeling weak. She's probably wrong anyway. Some random businessman wouldn't care at all for her, so there's no need to be scared. He was just looking at her because he noticed her eyes on him, that's all.

After a few seconds -- and even though a big part of her doesn't want to -- Junko looks back at the man.

He's still staring at her.

His eyes look like steel, but they're not like Mukuro's warm eyes at all. Junko feels like he's staring at her like she's a piece of meat, like she's some kind of animal. _(the knife falls out of her hands)_ , She wants to look away again, but can't move at all. _(she's pushed to the ground, the weight on top of her smashing the air out of her lungs)_ She opens her mouth, though she has no idea what sound to even make, whether it's a wail or begging Mukuro to do something. _(the disgusting smell of alcohol envelopes her as big hands are pawing at her clothes and-)_

"Junko-chan?"

Snapped out of her frightened daze, Junko looks into much more pleasant eyes. She calms down immediately. Mukuro is here. No one could ever harm her while Mukuro is here. She's safe, completely safe.

"Junko-chan?" Mukuro repeats, a bit quieter than previously.

"I-I'm fine." Judging from Mukuro's face, she immediately saw through the lie. Junko adds: "I just thought of something bad. It's fine. I'll be fine."

"Okay." Mukuro says. She moves to the left, making space on the right side of her seat, which she pats while smiling encouragingly. "Do you want to sit next to me?"

"Stupid Mukuro." Junko grumbles. Always coddling her. Well, it's not like she can say no now that Mukuro's already made space for her. That'd just be mean.

After freeing her knees from her jacket, Junko hops off her seat and climbs on Mukuro's, ignoring how her sister's hands look like they're gonna catch her if she falls off or something. What, does Mukuro think she's some kind of baby who can't even sit down without any issues? Ugh... maybe she's just overreacting though.

Junko leans against her sister as soon as she's made herself comfortable. Even considering how small the two of them are, the small size of the seats in the bus make it a bit of a tight fit. "When are we getting off?" Junko asks, putting her head on Mukuro's shoulder. It's not that she minds sitting with each other like this, but after that man was staring at her she doesn't want to stay on this bus.

"In about half an hour." Mukuro answers. Junko makes a displeased sound, causing her to add: "I'm sorry, but that's the closest forest I could find. I didn't have much time to look it up either."

"The librarian doesn't like you much." Junko says, snickering. Daisuke always let them use his computers in the internet café, but ever since Mukuro murdered him they had to make do with the computers in the library. The old man there only seems to _marginally_ like her better, though he must like her well enough considering he lets her spend a lot of time in the library, even when her sister is with her too. It's out of the ordinary, really. Most adults like both of them. They like Mukuro for being quiet and well-behaved, while they like Junko because she knows how to make herself act cute and sweet. "Maybe the old man thinks you're creepy."

"Creepy?" Mukuro echoes, slightly confused.

"Yeah! Probably the dead look in your eyes. I mean..." Junko removes her head from Mukuro's shoulder and grins up at her. "You have the eyes of a _killer_ , Mukuro-chan."

Mukuro smiles back, but like a lot of the things she does it looks awkward. "If you say so, Junko-chan. I don't think eyes can really tell anything about a person."

Can't they? Junko frowns. The eyes of that businessman told her all she needed to know about what kind of person he is. The way they were staring into hers. That horrible gray that's eerily similiar to the color of Mukuro's eyes, but different in a way that makes them look ugly. Just... everything about them. She suppresses a shudder.

For a moment, Junko considers telling Mukuro. It'd make her feel better, wouldn't it? If Mukuro knew. Maybe they could even try to kill that scumbag somehow. But...

Wouldn't it make Mukuro feel bad? Junko doesn't want to burden her with this stuff. It's her own fault for getting scared anyway, isn't it? It's not like that stupid man can do anything on a bus. She doesn't have to look into his eyes again. She can just look into Mukuro's.

"Your eyes look so dull. Lifeless." Junko can't help but murmur suddenly, peering up at her sister. "Or at least they would to most people, because they're stupid and don't know you. To me, your eyes are beautiful."

"Um... thank you." Mukuro mutters, appearing to be somewhere between feeling confused, embarrassed, and happy. "Your blue eyes are pretty too. Much prettier than mine."

"Can never take a compliment without trying to outdo me, can you?" Junko rolls her eyes, yet she doesn't really mean it. "Anyway, that was kinda random, sorry. No idea what brought it on." A lie. She knows what brought it on... and it's not something she wants to think about again. Distracting herself from her thoughts, Junko flutters her eyelashes at Mukuro like those girls in those romance movies Mukuro hates. "Maybe I just got lost in your eyes?"

Now it's Mukuro's turn to roll her eyes. "You're making fun of me, Junko-chan," she half-says, half-mumbles. "Why would that happen anyway? You've seen my eyes a million times before."

"You're right, you're right." Junko admits. She smiles sweetly. "Besides, I'm supposed to get lost in the eyes of some boy, right? Not _yours_."

Predictably, Mukuro goes from a _tiny_ bit annoyed to _very_ annoyed at this declaration. "No boy is good enough for you," she says, a surprising amount of force in her voice. "You're the Princess of Despair. Do you think some boy could understand that sort of thing? Definitely not."

Junko giggles. "Then do you think I should date a girl? I mean I guess girls are prettier than boys." Thinking about it, she rather likes that idea. "It'd be fitting! If I dated a girl, I'd give Despair to people who hate that sort of thing!"

"Why do you have to date anyone?" Mukuro asks, her voice adorned with a petulance that doesn't fit her. "You- the Princess of Despair isn't good enough for anyone. She doesn't need to date anyone."

"Since you're the other Princess of Despair, does that go for you too?" Junko asks.

Mukuro blinks. "Of course," she answers. There was some hesitation just now, but it's pretty obvious it was due to being surprised at the question. "I don't want to date anyone. If I did, I'd have to waste time on them instead of spending it with you. I don't want to do that."

"You're probably gonna change your mind when you're older though!" Junko accuses. "It's not like we can just be with each other for the rest of our lives."

To Junko's surprise and shock, Mukuro almost looks... hurt. Mukuro opens her mouth, but closes it again. When she opens it again, she just utters two words in a soft voice. "Why not?"

"I mean..." Junko trails off, unsure of what to say. She wasn't trying to hurt Mukuro's feelings just now. Stupid. "Of course I'll always love you more than anyone," she begins carefully. "I'll always be closer with you than with anyone else. But when we're older, we'll have to spend time with other people too. Right? That's just what happens."

"It's what happens with _normal_ people. I thought we weren't supposed to be normal."

"The Princess of Despair obviously needs allies! Subjects! Servants!" Junko giggles, but Mukuro doesn't seem to find much humor in her words. Junko falls back on a reluctant smile. "Models are supposed to have friends, y'know? I can't just be a loner or anything. I wouldn't get successful. Besides, I liked having friends in school. They were boring and stupid a lot, but being all alone would be worse."

"I see."

Junko frowns at her sister's cold tone. She thinks she's being rather mature. Mukuro is even more mature than her usually, so her reaction is odd. "Don't be mad, Mukuro-chan." She lets out another forced giggle. "I mean it's not like you wanna spend all your time with your little sister. Everyone would call you a loser. They'd think I was weird too!"

"Why does it matter what they think?" Mukuro snaps. "I thought the Princess of Despair was above all of that. What, does the whole 'Despair' and 'Princess of Despair' stuff only matter when it's convenient?"

Junko recoils a little. It's incredibly rare for Mukuro to talk with that kind of tone. Yes, she can get annoyed or even angry, but that mostly happens when she thinks Junko has done something dangerous, which isn't the case right now.

"I'm sorry, Junko-chan." Mukuro mutters quietly, anger having left her voice. "I didn't mean to snap at you. You're probably right. It's just that I'm the older sister. I don't like that you will... you know."

Junko doesn't really know, though she can suspect. "What, you think I'll get myself killed as soon as you're not watching me?" She asks, trying her hardest to not make herself sound annoyed. Figures Mukuro just doesn't want to let her do her own thing because of _that_. She'd probably chain them together if she could.

"No, it's just... nevermind." Mukuro turns her head away from Junko. "You look tired. Maybe you should take a nap before we arrive. I'll wake you up."

For a few seconds, Junko glares at the back of Mukuro's head, before turning her head away as well.

Stupid Mukuro. What is she so upset about? It has to be the overprotectiveness, right? Or is she... acting like this because she thinks she's just gonna get replaced or forgotten or something? That's ridiculous. As if anyone could ever replace her. As if Junko could ever forget about her. How can Mukuro think that? 

Hesitantly, Junko glances at Mukuro again, but her sister still has her head turned away. She almost wants to say something, until some of Mukuro's earlier words echo within her mind.

_"What, does the whole 'Despair' and 'Princess of Despair' stuff only matter when it's convenient?"_

Stupid Mukuro. How dare she say something like that? She doesn't get Despair anyway. She has no right to use that word, to chastise Junko for anything related to it! Stupid, stupid, stupid Mukuro! Saying that stuff like she's scolding an ignorant child. She's _always_ like that!

Why would she try to understand Mukuro better? It's not like Mukuro makes any attempt to do it herself. Even averting her stupid eyes like this, like Junko isn't worth her time.

Junko hops out of Mukuro's seat and returns to her own. Instead of looking out of the bus window, she stares at the businessman from earlier instead. When he returns the stare, she doesn't flinch away.

**i've killed someone like you, you old bastard. i'm not afraid**

When the man is the one to look away first, Junko smirks.

 

-

 

The last bit of Junko's tiny leftover fright disappears when the businessman doesn't get off the bus with them. She wasn't worried, really. She's mostly relieved because she would have had to tell Mukuro about it then. To protect them better. Junko is still angry, but she's not _stupid_. Regardless of what Mukuro may think.

During all that silence between them on the bus, she kind of considered telling Mukuro about the man anyway, although she decided against it eventually. The silence was bothering her, but it would have felt wrong to tell her sister about it just so she'd forget about being upset with her. Junko is still angry, but she's not _immature_. Regardless of what Mukuro may think.

Determined to finally break the silence now that the forest is in sight though, Junko asks: "How big is the forest?"

Mukuro answers right away. "Kind of big, but not big enough for us to get lost in it. Even if we get lost, it'll take us only an hour or two to get out if we just walk in any direction." No doubt she deliberately looked that up before she chose that forest.

"If the forest isn't that big, how many animals are we gonna see in it?" Junko asks with a pout.

"We'll see." Mukuro says, not sounding very concerned about it. Makes sense, considering she doesn't really care for animals, especially not when Junko is around them. She'd probably be nervous with Junko being around even squirrels or something.

Stupid Mukuro.

The trees of the forest are much taller than the ones in the park. They also kind of look greener. The sun shining down makes them seem like they're glowing. Junko was wondering what kind of forest it would be, but it looks like it's just a... normal one, for lack of a better word. She was almost hoping for a bamboo forest. Maybe there aren't any of those around, though. Still, it looks pretty enough, so she can't be too disappointed.

They go along one of the walkways through the forest for a while, with some other people who've decided to take a walk today. Junko doesn't feel like straight up marching in there right away. She usually would do that, but some nosy adult might object to two little children walking off into the forest if they noticed it. Not to mention that Mukuro's sour mood is affecting her too.

Walking quietly next to each other several minutes doesn't really fix anything though.

Junko closes her eyes. The wind that's blowing feels pleasant rather than cold. The jackets were unnecessary. A lot of things Mukuro does are unnecessary. Always telling her what she can or can't do, always fussing over her. As if Mukuro was her _mom_ or something.

**my stupid mom is dead. i wish i killed her**

"I'm bored!" Junko declares as soon as no other people are around anymore. Before Mukuro can say anything, Junko whirls to the left and runs off into the forest. "Catch me if you can, Mukuro-chan!"

"Junko-chan, don't run off on your own!"

Hearing Mukuro's shout just motivates Junko further. She jumps over a low-hanging branch, ignoring when Mukuro yells out her name again. She smiles widely, enjoying the feeling of the wind against her face and how her jacket is flickering backwards while she runs.

Mukuro is faster than her. Junko has to make her headstart count. She runs to where the forest is denser, with trees and bushes close enough together so that they might break Mukuro's sight.

Branches and leaves are lightly slapping across her face as she runs between some of those trees, but it hardly bothers her. Mukuro better become faster if she wants to catch her. Junko slows down a bit, raising her hands to push some of the thicker branches aside. She doesn't want to get knocked down, after all.

She doesn't hear any yells behind her anymore. She looks back, but doesn't see anything. Either Mukuro didn't see her enter the dense mini-forest here or she didn't feel like following her in. Knowing her sister, it's most likely the former. Mukuro would probably jump after her even if she flung herself off the Mount Everest.

When Junko pushes the last few branches aside and squeezes herself past the last few trees however, Mukuro is right in front of her. Junko gapes at her. "Hey, how did you do that?!"

"I just went around." Mukuro says, as if it was obvious. Which it is, now that Junko thinks about it. Ugh, she was just feeling too excited to think properly. She scowls at Mukuro, who frowns in return. "Why did you run off?"

"I got tired of your smell. You're smelly." Junko tells her, stuffing her hands into her jacket's pockets.

"We both washed up in the morning. Why did you run off?"

"Maybe you didn't do it properly. You smell."

"Junko-chan."

"Shut up!" Junko yells. "Don't say 'Junko-chan' in that stupid tone, like I'm a stupid little kid!"

"Then don't act like one." Mukuro responds, annoyance creeping into her tone.

"I knew you'd say that!" Junko takes a step closer to her sister, balling her fists in her jacket's pockets. She grins, though it probably looks fake. "You're so predictable, Mukuro-chan. Always trying to act like an adult, even though you're just a stupidhead who doesn't know anything."

Mukuro doesn't give a reply to that, merely looking at her in a way that makes Junko's blood boil.

Losing her patience with her stupid sister, Junko suddenly gives her a shove, making Mukuro tumble to the ground. She turns left and runs like before. "Sorry, was that too immature for you?!" She yells over her shoulder as Mukuro stands up and gives chase once more.

It's a much shorter chase. This time, Mukuro anticipated something like that happening and therefore reacted much faster. In just a minute, she manages to catch up and take hold of one of Junko's wrists.

Junko tries to wrench herself free, but it's no use. Mukuro's too strong for her. She scowls at her sister's impassive face, though her scowl gives way to a startled expression when Mukuro walks into the direction they came from while pulling Junko after her.

"What're you doing?!" Junko complains, trying to pry the tight grip off her wrist with no success. "Mukuro-chan, you're hurting me!" There is no response. "Hey! Don't ignore me!" She kicks Mukuro's shin in frustration.

Mukuro stops and whirls around. Her face is as impassive as always, but Junko suddenly feels very small nonetheless. "I'm not walking with you in a forest when you'll just run away again," she says. "We're leaving."

"But we just got here! I want to see some animals and look at the trees more!" Junko yells, indignant.

"You should've thought of that before running away twice." Mukuro replies. She sighs. "Junko-chan, why do you have to do those things? Can't you just...? I don't know..."

Junko stares at her. "You... you sound just like our stupid parents! They always said that stuff to me! 'Ryouko, don't leave our sight! Ryouko, don't play with insects! Ryouko, just be a good little girl and don't do anything ever!' You're just like them!"

"Well, maybe they were right sometimes!" Mukuro snaps. "What were you thinking, running off like this?! In a forest?!"

"What's the problem?! You said the stupid forest was safe yourself!" Junko fires back.

"Nowhere is completely safe!" Mukuro is close to yelling herself at this point. "You could fall down a hill and really hurt yourself! What if you climbed a tree and fell off?! What if you got bitten by a squirrel and it had some kind of disease?! What- what if you came across a dangerous person in there?! Why can't you just stay with me?! I'll keep you safe!"

"I don't need you to keep me safe!" Junko shrieks. "I'm not a stupid little kid! I know how to take care of myself!" She tries to free herself from her sister's grip again, but doesn't manage it. She feels her blood shoot to her head. For a few moments, the only thing she hears is her own heavy breathing.

Mukuro's eyes are boring into her own. She doesn't say anything, but the look in her eyes makes it obvious. _'Yes, you do need me,'_ is what it seems to say. It's what Mukuro thinks. No doubt about that. Junko can tell. Junko knows.

**how dare you look down on me, stupid mukuro? how dare you, how dare you, how dare you**

Junko's lips twist into a cruel smile. "Hey, Mukuro-chan? Aren't you just letting your own guilt out on me?" The twitching of Mukuro's eyes only makes her smile grow wider. "After all," she continues, her sweet voice contrasting her words. "Wasn't it your fault that drunk man almost got to... _hurt_ me?" The grip on her wrist loosens enough for her to break free, but Junko doesn't want to run off anymore. At least not right now. "So by being so overprotective, are you trying to make up for it? Is that why?"

"I..." Mukuro looks like she's been struck. There is a dull feeling in Junko's chest, probably guilt from saying those things, but right now she's too angry to care. "I saved you."

"Only _just_ before he got to do anything." Junko says, her voice still laced with that fake sweetness. "But you know... I can still feel his hands on me, his foul breath on my face, his weight on my body. It's hard to sleep sometimes."

"You... never mentioned that until now." Mukuro whispers. "It's been weeks. Why haven't you said anything?"

"I just thought now would be good. Seemed like the right time." Junko's smile twists into a grimace. "All of what you're doing is making me feel even worse!" She snarls, unable to make her voice sound sweet anymore. "Your stupid coddling. Your stupid... you! You've always been like that, but now it's worse than ever before. And it's because of what happened with that drunkard, isn't it?"

"Junko-chan..."

"You think without you being there to look after me, something like that is gonna happen to me again? Because you weren't there quickly enough back then? You think..." Junko trails off, out of breath. She feels something hot in her eyes. "I wouldn't do something like that again!" She says, calmer than before. "You can stop feeling guilty too. Because..." She swallows. "Because it was _my_ fault, okay?"

"It wasn't-"

"Yes, it was!" Junko insists, averting her eyes. If she didn't, looking at Mukuro's face would probably make her cry for real. "I'm the one who lured that guy to the warehouse, because I just assumed I could kill someone. Without any planning or telling you. It was... it was _stupid_ , Mukuro-chan. I was being stupid. I know, okay?! I know. I wouldn't do that again. I've learned from it." She looks into her sister's eyes again. "Some man on the bus was staring at me, like that drunkard did. I was afraid at first, but then I just stared back at him. I scared him off, and then I wasn't really afraid anymore. I-I could've lured him into the woods to kill him, but I didn't. Because I know that'd be stupid."

"... So that was why you looked scared earlier." Mukuro mumbles, more to herself than to Junko. "You should've told me, Junko-chan. You didn't have to scare that guy off on your own."

"But I did!"

"You did." Mukuro concedes. A small, if nervous, smile grows on her face. "I'm proud of you."

Junko returns the smile in spite of herself. "That's nothing for the Princess of Despair!" She dismisses. "Anyway, I... maybe I shouldn't have run off, but the way you were babying me really annoyed me. I guess I just wanted to teach you a lesson. Do you know what I mean?"

**do you believe me**

Mukuro doesn't answer right away. The expression on her face is conflicted, almost pained. "I... think so." She eventually says. "I'm sorry, Junko-chan. I overdid it a little these past few weeks." Although her hold has weakened enough for it not to matter at this point, she lets go of Junko's wrist.

"It's okay. I'm not gonna run off again, so don't worry." Junko rubs her wrist. Mukuro was gripping her pretty tightly. She pauses, collecting her thoughts. Staring at the ground, she mutters: "... I'm sorry for blaming you for what happened back then. I always knew it was my own fault, but blaming you made me feel less bad about myself. Can you forgive me, Mukuro-chan?"

"There is nothing to forgive, Junko-chan." Mukuro says gently. "But if it makes you feel better, then yes. I forgive you."

Junko looks up again, the smile on Mukuro's face causing her to smile as well. "So... can we go look for animals now?!"

Mukuro nods, still smiling. "I'll keep my eyes open for squirrels or tanuki."

"What about boars?" Junko asks, her smile having turned into a grin.

"And boars." Mukuro agrees, visibly forcing herself not to add something like: 'Don't go up to them though.'

"Then let's go!"

All in all, the forest turns out to be a mixed bag.

Apart from some squirrels that immediately disappear as soon as they notice them both and the odd bird that flutters past them, they don't really see any animals. No tanuki, no boars, and of course no bears. Not even any hornets! Not that Junko was looking forward to them. On the other hand, there are a lot of bugs and spiders they get to look at. They're not as interesting as bigger animals, but Junko isn't complaining. Or at least not much.

The trees and the flowers are nice to look at too. She even gets to climb a tree... or at least tries to. She isn't very good at it -- unlike Mukuro, who manages to climb the same tree with relative ease. Junko refuses her help when asked though. The Princess of Despair doesn't need that kind of assistance! Almost climbing onto the first branch that Mukuro practically jumped on is pretty impressive. Probably.

There's a fairly big pond they find as well. While Mukuro refuses to let her swim in it, reasoning that they have no way of drying themselves and could risk getting a cold, it's still fun to look at, and there are plenty of fish and insects Junko gets to study. She nearly even catches a frog, but she doesn't manage to hold it still before it can jump away. 

What she _does_ manage is playing a small prank on her sister. When she isn't looking, Junko gathers some of the pond's water in her hands and drips it down the back of Mukuro's shirt, causing her to emit a high-pitched yelp that's so unlike her it makes Junko laugh herself silly. It's totally worth the splash of water Mukuro sends into her face afterwards.

It's late in the afternoon when they come across a clearing.

It looks beautiful. The lack of trees there reveals the bright blue sky, while the trees that surround the clearing are blocking the sunlight at the same time. It makes the space look perfect -- neither too bright nor too dark. But the most notable thing are the dandelions all over the grass, some yellow and some white.

She and Mukuro lie down on their backs on that field, gazing up at the sky. For a while, they just lie there in silence, enjoying the moment.

But with silence comes thoughts. Thoughts about earlier. About some of Mukuro's words. They've been in the back of Junko's mind the entire time.

_"I didn't mean to snap at you. You're probably right. It's just that I'm the older sister. I don't like that you will... you know."_

"Hey, Mukuro-chan?" Junko says eventually. She sits up. When Mukuro does the same, she looks into her steely gray eyes. "Earlier when I was talking about spending less time together in the future... why did you get upset, really?"

"It's not important. It's stupid anyway." Mukuro mumbles.

"It wasn't because you were just worried about me, was it?" Junko chews on her lower lip, feeling both nervous and oddly excited. Mukuro's overprotectiveness, her coddling, the way she got so upset when Junko mentioned other people... _especially_  how irritated she felt about the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. "It was because you're... jealous. You don't want me to spend time with anyone else."

Mukuro's slightly uncomfortable expression morphes into one of shock. It immediately turns into shame. Unable to hold eye contact any longer, Mukuro stares at the ground instead.

"You'd really just be totally happy if I was the only person in your life, for all eternity?" Junko asks, almost amazed. Now that she's thought about it like that, it all becomes so obvious. "You're overprotective, but not just because you don't want me to get hurt. You don't notice that you're doing it, but you want me to depend on you. You want to keep me to yourself. You don't want there to be anyone except us two."

"We don't need anyone else!" Mukuro blurts out, her gray eyes staring intensely into Junko's blue ones. "Yes, you'll need people like guardians or... friends or others, but you don't have to really care for any of them! We're the only ones who understand each other, right? It'd just be a waste of time anyway!"

Junko is silent for almost a minute, her mind working much more slowly than she's used to. Suddenly, something she hasn't ever really thought of before makes complete sense. Something that she always knew was true, but for the first time is consciously aware of. A thought occurs to her. "Hey, Mukuro-chan," she murmurs. "That businessman who was staring at me... do you think he's gonna do something bad to another little girl?"

Mukuro blinks, clearly taken aback. "What? Why are you asking me?"

"I was just thinking... he might do something bad to another little girl. Do you think he might?"

Mukuro thinks for a while. She doesn't seem comfortable with the subject. "Maybe he only stares at little girls and doesn't do anything."

"But maybe he does something to them too."

"He won't do anything to you." Mukuro says firmly. "You showed him you knew what he was doing. Even if he tried something, I'd protect you from him."

"But a lot of other little girls wouldn't notice anything. They don't have you to protect them either. What if he tried anything with them?"

"Well..." Mukuro grimaces. "As long as it's not you, that's not our problem."

Junko stares at her. It's what she's expected to hear, but the answer is shocking nonetheless. It's always been on her mind, the thought that even though her sister killed someone without feeling anything, she is still... good, in a way. Pure. Because she cares about Junko, because she loves her so much. And yet...

"Mukuro-chan," Junko almost whispers. "That's a horrible thing to say."

Mukuro's face reddens. "I-I'm not saying it's not bad, but it's not like we can do anything against it. We're just children. You're the only one who matters, so... um..."

"Mukuro-chan..." Junko pulls her knees up, pressing her face against them, though she doesn't stop looking at her sister. "What nearly happened to me is something no one deserves. You'd never let that kind of thing happen if you could stop it, no matter who it happened to, right?" She's almost afraid of the answer.

**she's right, though. who cares**

"I wouldn't." Mukuro says. She fidgets uncomfortably when Junko gives her a searching gaze. "Junko-chan... I wasn't saying I don't care as long as it doesn't happen to you. It's just that you're the only important person in the world to me... you get it, right?"

"... I get it." Junko mutters. Mukuro isn't lying to her, but... a slight feeling of discomfort persists. She sighs. "I know you only care about me, but... that was a really cold thing to say."

**she's right**

"I'm sorry..." Mukuro's face is so stricken with guilt that Junko feels some of her anxiety disappear.

She giggles. She doesn't even really have to force herself to. Yes, there's discomfort, but Mukuro is still her great older sister. A thoroughly evil person wouldn't feel guilty like this. Mukuro can't help that she loves Junko so much that she has no love left for anyone else. "I can't be mad at you, Muku-chan!" Junko exclaims. "You're just... you. You're the only person who could say something like that and not mean it in an awful way."

 **mukuro is right, she's right. why care**  

Mukuro still doesn't look happy, so Junko abruptly tackles her into a hug. There is a surprised sound, but Mukuro is smiling when Junko peers into her face slightly below. "I love you, Junko-chan." She says in a quiet voice.

"I love you too, Mukuro-chan." Junko says. "Do you know why I asked that stuff?" Mukuro hesitates, but shakes her head -- there are a few leaves in her black hair -- after a few seconds. "I wanted to know if my assumption was right. You just... you really don't care about anything except me?"

"I don't." Mukuro answers. "You're the only one who matters."

Usually, Junko would feel a burst of happiness upon hearing that. Now though... she doesn't know how she feels about it... but surely Mukuro is right? They're the only ones who matter. "Right now, you're the only one who matters to me too." Junko tells her, smiling at the look of elation on her beloved sister's face. "And even if I care about other people, you'll always be the one who matters to me the most. Okay, Mukuro-chan?"

Mukuro nods. "I'm sorry for being weird."

"Mukuro-chan," Junko laughs, snuggling into her sister. "You're _always_ weird. For that, I'll tickle you!"

Or at least she _tries_. Tickling never seems to work on Mukuro, who just lies there and lets Junko completely fail at it. After half a minute, Junko stops. She harrumphes, and then nearly screams in horror when she feels Mukuro's fingers on her, tickling away. 

Junko falls off. Suddenly, it's Mukuro who's on top _her,_ grinning in a way that lookes both strange and completely natural on her. She knows all of her weak spots, too. Junko shrieks with laughter after just a second or two, begging Mukuro to stop whenever she is actually capable of forming words, though unfortunately even her ever nice sister can be merciless sometimes.

When it finally stops, she's out of breath. Mukuro rolls off her, and they're lying side by side once more. Still giggling a bit, Junko brushes her red hair out of her face. She gets an idea when she notices that one of the white dandelions is very close to her.

"Hey, Mukuro-chan!" She says, plucking the dandelion and taking it into her hand. It's trembling in the wind, some of the seeds close to flying away. "Let's blow on it together and make a wish."

"Don't you always say that's stupid?" Mukuro asks, but doesn't seem opposed to the idea at all judging from the bright smile on her face.

"Well, of course it's stupid, but I feel like doing it today!" Junko retorts, turning up her nose at her sister's questioning, though in a way that makes it obvious she's not actually annoyed.

"I don't mind. What are we wishing for?"

"We can't say, or it won't come true! Do you know what you're going to wish for?" Mukuro nods. "Good! Let's blow on three! One!"

**why should it bother me? mukuro is right. caring about other people is a waste of time**

"Two!"

**i already knew mukuro was as rotten as i am. as abnormal. why does it bother me? why does it make me feel sick? it's good, that we're both like this. it's good. we'll always be together**

"Three!"

**always together. forever**

They both blow on the dandelion, causing its seeds to scatter into the wind. Junko doesn't know what to wish for even when she sees them fly away, but when she looks into Mukuro's smiling face there is only one thing that comes to mind. Junko would feel ashamed and disgusted for it later, but for a moment it even overpowers the nagging voice in her head.

**desp-**

_'Make us normal.'_

* * *

 


End file.
